Your standards are what define you to others, and basically to yourself. They are those conditions and behaviors to which you willingly adhere. We all know people who are at best whimsical in that you never know quite where they are or where they are going. Any wind works, any destination is fine, any result is better than nothing. But you don’t trust them and you may not even know why, but you sense this about them. Thus if you have few or weak standards for yourself, others will read it and not do business with you. So what am I to do about this? Well, here are ten ideas on how to develop standard in your life.
1) Be impeccably honest.
Being honest with yourself and with others will give you immense credibility. You become unchallengeable, and powerful. It is really difficult to fight against the truth, although some try. Honesty is more than telling the truth, even the whole truth, but in every case it is the truth. Ask yourself, “When do I tell the whole truth? When do I remain silent? How do I sift out what is unnecessary and still tell the truth? Summary, you don’t have to tell it all, just be sure that what you do tell is in fact true and take care that what you don’t say, doesn’t lead the other person to the wrong conclusion.
2) Maintain personal integrity.
As in being honest, integrity is more comprehensive than honesty or truthfulness. It means that your life, work, relationships and so forth are in fact, one. It is value based, being a gauge of your personal reality. Often it is defined as the answer to the question, “What is your bottom line?” It is the foundation of what you will do or will not do regardless of external pressures. Integrity is foundational to all of our relationships and the basis for authenticity and reliability.
3) Understand and use your own power.
It is power that enables you to act, respond, react and do so with your integrity and honesty. Power enables you to enforce your standards. What is the source of your power? Power can come from within or from an outside source. The more internalized your source, the more you can trust your power.
4) Be totally committed to what you do and believe.
The promise of excellence is only available to those who will commit to it. Partial commitment leads to mediocrity in every area of your life, your work and your play. Go for it, but only if you are willing to commit your all.
5) Be ready to accept reality.
The act of acceptance is to recognize and acknowledge what IS (not what you think it is). It is not a judgment needing approval, but seeing life and the situation as being real. To what degree are you willing to accept other people, life situations, etc? What are you not willing to accept? Accepting something, does not mean that it is unchangeable.
6) Learn what you are “putting up with”.
The things you “put up with” are called tolerations. These are the things in your life that you accept as normal, but dislike terribly and that you engage in repeatedly. This is not to be confused with tolerance, which in general is a good thing. Tolerations are usually distractive and destructive, hence better eliminated. They deplete our energies, limit our growth and healing. We just “endure” them. It is better to eliminate them.
7) Pacing your self.
Athletes refer to the place where it seems that they just flow, as zoning. It is here that what happens just seems to happen. It seems easy and relaxed. Marathoners experience this as well as do horses. It is a kind of measured relaxed action. Many of us are panicking or avoiding rather than running. We are trying to keep up or excel or we are quitting because it is too hard. At what pace to you feel most comfortable? Are you willing to press on despite pressures to the contrary?
Get and maintain a reserve in everything.
A reserve in a margin on something, say the gas in your tank or the balance in your checking account. Having a reserve frees you from the demands of circumstances or crisis. There are many areas of reserve that we should be aware of. For example, how are your reserves of time, space, money, energy, opportunity, love, information, wisdom, self and integrity?
9) Persist in getting fit.
Just how are you doing physically, mentally and spiritually? Fitness is more than adequate preparation to deal with whatever comes along. It is how you create reserves of energy, personal energy. What are you doing to be physically fit? How is your information or your emotional fitness? Name a book you have read this month, or even this year. What about your spiritual fitness? What is your minimum level of performance in each of these areas?
10) Maintain good relationships and good communication.
For the most part life is a solo flight, conducted in the company of others. Our standards and values direct how this flight goes and how well it goes. While the assessment of communication is well beyond the scope of this paper, it is crucial that you learn how you communicate and how to improve it.
Coach Charles Powell
Coaching at its Best, International
Portland, OR
Note: this material adapted from a source author unknown, circa 1997
This article was published behalf of Coach Charles by Ed Bejarana, Editor of the East Portland Chamber of Commerce Business Blog. For more information about the East Portland Chamber of Commerce, please be our guest at an up coming Good Morning East Portland Business Meeting.
